Today is a struggle.
I came down with the bug that the Mr had earlier in the week, and I came down with it much worse. I’ve been running a fever for about 24 hours now, my body aches worse than anything I’ve felt since childbirth, and my daughter still needs me to be a mom.
Today feels insurmountable.
Between the animals, the absolute war zone my room has become, and Beasty’s constant needs from me, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like that warrior I talked about birthing is gone, off fighting a more winnable war.
Today, my anxiety is getting the best of me.
But here’s the good news: I’ve recognized it. I can now work on managing it. There are things I can do to alleviate the feelings of being overwhelmed, once I recognize where they’re coming from.
This is a winnable war. I may not get the decisive and easy victory I so badly want (and, let’s be real, could really freakin’ use) today, but I will get through it.
I will work on my patience with my daughter’s incessant, ever-changing needs (boob in mouth–but also entertainment, motion, ambient temperature changes, diaper changes, support with teething pain, a giant-ass pony with lollipop shits…you name it, she probably wants it and will scream bloody murder until you find the right combo). I will work to meet both of our many, many needs today.
And I will forgive myself my shortcomings today, the battles I lose for the sake of winning the war against shutting down completely and letting it all fall apart.