Motherhood Chronicles

​#MotherhoodChronicles #day4: a moment to myself. Pictured are my trusty #medela #pumpinstyle #breastpump (aka the best pump in the entire world), my current #knitting project: a temperature blanket that I’m over a month behind on, and my baby monitor. Even my spare moments are seeped in my daughter’s care. 

My perspective on free time and what I do with moments to myself has changed drastically in the last 8 months (ps #beasty is 8 months old today!). Moments that I can work on a pleasure project are spent feverishly working at breakneck speed for want of more progress, broken up by frequently checking the monitor for signs of life or wakefulness. Trying to imagine what my internal dialogue used to sound like without the constant undertone of “what’s going on with my baby” playing in the background… It’s hard to remember what it was like. Was my head just… emptier? Was it like a musical chord without one of the notes being played: thinner? Less rich a quality? Was it totally empty? Cuz I’ll tell you something, the sound of motherhood constantly playing through my brain consumes so very much of my brain. It colors every thought I have. Maybe it’s more like a lens through which I see everything. 

It can be so completely consuming sometimes. 


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